Disappointment 2 (2022) Dessin par Edwin Loftus

"Avoid expectations and you will never be disappointed." The problem is that we act based on expectations and without them, there is no reason to act.
What is probably meant in variations on this phrase is, "Avoid attachment to the achievement of your expectations and you will avoid disappointment."
This inserts a safety valve on disappointment. "I am still disappointed, but less so than I would have been because I maintained awareness that my expectations might not be fulfilled."
But .... Really? That just means, "I've accepted that my expectations are likely to be unrealistic and so unachieved." Ergo, "I have learned to lower my expectations."
So, an example of that could be, "My life isn't that good, but I have lowered my expectations, so now I find it less disappointing to live this 'not-so-good' life and that's a good thing because I expect that I am helpless to make it better."
But what if you tried your best to understand what your realistic expectations can be ... while your life remains as it is ... but said, realistically, "If I worked a little bit harder or sacrificed a little bit more and raised enough money to invest in something that could bring me more income ... if I could do that, I would change the way my life is and it would not be unrealistic to expect something better!"
It depends on where you live. In places where you are allowed to keep more of what you earn, that's easier to do. In places where you get hit by high taxes on what you earn, or the person you work for is hit by high taxes and so cannot afford to pay you as much, and if you did find something to sell, other people just don't have much money to spend because a big part goes to taxes, either before or after you've earned it ... well, that makes such expectations more unrealistic.
And what if you do all of those things ... and still fail? Don't you want some big, rich protector to be there to catch you if you fall?
Our ancestors didn't have these problems. If they couldn't find water, in about four days they died of thirst. If they couldn't find food, in two or three weeks they were too weak to find it and they starved. If they couldn't find shelter in the heat, they overheated and died. If they couldn't find shelter and fuel in the cold, they became hypothermic and died. They didn't have to worry about expectations because if they couldn't find what they needed, they died.
So, yes, it would be easier to just lower your expectations and be as happy as you can be with things the way they are.
Or, you could say, "To Hell with that!", join with others that feel the same way and make the world a place where you can have more control over your destiny.

Thèmes connexes

ExpectationsDisappointmentSelf-ImprovementSubmissionChange